What is the depth of a person? What is it in truth that we should love?
"I think looks are important but it is the personality that counts the most," says the shallow man.
The order of love is personality first, then beauty. This idea comes from shallow people; shallow people who do not want to seem shallow. People accept this idea without questioning it. It becomes the mark, the banner, the standard, and the flag of those who think that depth, while deeper than the skin, is only as deep as the now.
The signs they use all mean the same thing: "I want to be seen as more." But understanding is not a matter of personality. Personality is only in the now. It can reflect depth, but it is not depth.
Personality is the methodology we use to look at the world, and it is what others view in us at any given time.
It is the water which touches the air on a vast lake, so thin the word shallow makes it seem a thousand times deeper then it really is. It reflects faces, and molds to the currents beneath. But not all currents are reflected on the surface.
Look at yourself in the now. Are your thoughts representative of your whole being? Is your personality representative of your soul in its entirety? Do you feel how trapped you are to measure your soul only in the now? Only one thought can be made at a time, and those thoughts come from you, but they are not you alone.
Your past echos like the sound of the wind through a mountain range, it flows like the deepest currents in the deepest oceans. It moves with an energy more awe inspiring than the loudest crash of thunder, more pure than the sweetest note of music. Your past is your depth, and your depth is what makes you who you are.
Sometimes when I am watching people walk by I wonder about their thoughts. I wonder about who they are at that moment in time. But to a large extent I already know. There is far less mystery in the personality of a person. And thus I judge based off of shallow interpretations and inevitably everyone seems shallow to me.
We are all human and flawed. Judging a person off of his or her personality is not always bad. Sometimes a person's method of interaction simply does not jibe well with others.
But to love someone based only off of personality is not enough. To love someone you must try to understand his or her depth. You have to understand their reasons for being. You have to understand their past selves to the greatest extent you can.
I have been interested in loving certain people over the past few years, but their depths never seemed to fit with my own. They were people who would never understand me, and who I could never understand.
I once knew a girl who shared her depth. To me she was more than the glassy surface of a lake.
At first I thought I was attracted to her personality, but after all the trials and time that past I knew better. I knew her over time, and I knew a little about her depth. Hers resonated within my own.
As we all do, she had motivations and reasons flooding through every action she made. But unlike others she did not hide those reasons. She lived her life for the sake of living it well, and for the sake of finding truth. Her depth was not a matter of how others saw her. Her depth was of her reasons for being.
It was not about how she laughed, it was about why.
Beauty is skin deep.
Personality is as thin as the time captured in a photograph.
Depth is as deep as the memory, as the history of a person's life.
Love the depth in others, and your love won't be surprised.